i did it again

i threw tantrum at my poor bf again....

i was feeling upset for the past few weeks. in fact i dun know when i felt relax after i was back fr aussie. work is stressful. life is stressful. everythg is stressful. nothg in sg is really relaxing anyway...

had been wanting to look for ppl to talk to. my gfs' are all too busy. so kinda hard to get them. when i finally get one of them, it was a few weeks later already. feels like i have nothg to talk abt since i have exhuasted myself, thinking myself silly. when i have the chance to talk to my bf, it was either in msn or sms. we dun talk much on the phone as it is really ezpensive. but because of his lifestyle, we are seldom on msn together at the same time to really communicate. so i hardly tell him abt thgs anymore.

yday night, my mood suddenly changed. partly it is also pms, i couldnt control it. every time it hits me, i cant make my mood change. and when it happens, my bf will try to cheer me up. but it always back fire... we ended the night feeling upset.

the next day, i told him sorry. he told me that he was hurt.

in the evening, i told him that i was home, in case he wanna spend time with me. but he told me that he had problem going online. so i told him that it is okie, tat i will just go out since i have nothg to do at home. when he asked if he needed to give me more days to cool off, i dun know wat to say... i answered him somethg else, and he called me.

we talked a bit, and he asked me why i dun tell him anythg when he asked. i was at a lost to answer him. how do u tell the person u love tat u cant express urself? how do u tell him tat u still feel lonely when he is trying so hard to make up for the time lost in our relationship? but wat came out fr his mouth next really touched me. he asked me not to cry anymore. i was trying hard to control myself, speaking little, so tat he wont know. but he knew. and he asked me not to cry anymore. at that point of time i really wish that he is next to me. so needed him to be with me...

i was glad tat he called. really glad. that phone call made me feel that everythg is alright after all.

thank u sweetie, i love you.